With A More Sensitive Person:

• Spend more time upfront checking in with them and asking about their life outside of work.
• Listen and pay attention to reactions. If you realize you have said something that hurt their feelings, circle back, and explain what you meant.
• Don’t avoid feedback.
• Provide coaching if their emotions are impacting your ability to provide feedback.

If You Are More Sensitive And They Are More Blunt:

• Recognize you can jump right into the topic without a lot of checking in or small talk, they prefer to get to the point.
• Don’t overthink what you say. Be clear and let them know you care but recognize you are more concerned about each word you say than they are.
• Ask them to recap the end of the meeting to make sure your communication was clear. You will likely use more words than they do so you don’t want your key message to be lost.

When Your Employee Is Very Structured:

• Delegating work at the last minute is very stressful for them. Discuss in your one-on-one session any situations where this has happened recently and how you can work together better in the future.
• Use an agenda – yours or theirs for your meeting. They will appreciate being prepared.
• Close your session with reviewing key decisions and action items. Clarity will support their ability to do their best work.
• Coach them on times when flexibility is needed in their work.

If Your Employee Likes To “Go With The Flow”:

• For both structured and go with the flow “types” it is important not to judge, see the value both work styles bring to the work environment.
• Agree on check-in times or milestones along the way to provide assurance to you and to keep them on track with work assignments.
• Discuss what a deadline or due date means to both of you and/or the team. Sometimes we really need it before the deadline for review or collaboration. As this type will be less likely to turn it in early, let them know when you really need it.

1he key to adapting our style is to use our emotional intelligence to listen to our employees and to be able to value the unique strengths they bring. Use transparency to talk openly about how you notice your work style being different and see if they agree. For example, “I’ve noticed you like structure and plan really well, you have probably noticed I am not as structured. Would you agree with these differences and how is that affecting your work?” 

Some leaders have said, I don’t have time to adjust to every employee. They work for me, they should adapt to my style. Ideally, you are both adapting. If things are going well with the employee from your standpoint and from theirs, adapting may not be needed. With those who you struggle to communicate or find you have issues aligning, it is worth it to consider how you communicate with them and make some changes. 

I use the analogy of sending flowers to someone you care about. If you love roses and they love carnations; you would send them carnations, not roses, right? Communicate in a way that shows you understand them and see the results you gain in trust and engagement.

Keep Connecting! 

Did you miss part 1? Read Adjusting Your 1-On-1 Meeting Style for Each Employee pt 1

For more information on improving relationships and results through one-on-ones, check out The Connection Blueprint or contact: debbie@nodusinc.com 

Debbie Waggoner, CEO of Nodus Performance Consulting has a solid track record of success with Fortune 500 companies, working with individuals, teams, and organizations to improve performance in the areas of leadership, talent development, and teamwork.