For starters, we need to understand what you really mean

• Do you not care to hear a lot of personal information about your employees?
• Do you really not care about them as a person?
• Do you feel like you don’t have time to care?
• Are you afraid if you get too close to your employees you won’t be able to lead them well?

In her book Radical Candor, Kim Scott says that we are sometimes told as leaders to leave our feelings at home. Yet that is virtually impossible for us and our employees. Not everyone is a “touchy feely” person yet everyone can show they care. Scott sees it as critical to both show you care and be direct to build trust and engagement with employees. Relationships, now power, drive your forward, says Kim Scott. It’s about being more than “just professional”.

In my book The Connection Blueprint, you will find a lot of sample questions to ask to get to know your employees. Find at least one question that you are comfortable asking. Ask it and see how your employee responds. Try it out. What we have found is that when we start asking a few questions, listening and getting to know more about them, we become interested and we realize we do care.

We can’t fake caring and certainly some employees are easier to connect with than others. All deserve your time and attention. Don’t be insincere or disingenuous. Find a topic that interests both of you, learn a little bit about them personally and remember that and bring it up next time.

And when you have employees who take up too much of your time or share too much, be direct and give them feedback. Your ability to invest in this type of feedback can have an impact on their career future and demonstrates that you do care!

We probably all realize that there are people in our lives who care for us a great deal and don’t necessarily say that they care directly. It comes from their actions, their attention, their listening to us or there being there for us when we need them. If that is your leadership style, put an extra focus on demonstrating that in your one-on-one meeting.

I believe you will discover that you do care and that it makes all the difference in connecting.

For more information on improving relationships and results through one-on-ones, check out The Connection Blueprint or contact: debbie@nodusinc.com 

Debbie Waggoner, CEO of Nodus Performance Consulting has a solid track record of success with Fortune 500 companies working with individuals, teams, and organizations to improve performance in the areas of leadership, talent development, and teamwork.